Sherlock Holmes (2009)

Robert Downey Jr is probably my favorite actor working today and I generally enjoy all of his films, if not only for his performance. I also love older Guy Ritchie films (Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, Snatch), and, though he has continually disappointed me since then, there's always that hope that he will live up to his former glory. I had high hopes for Sherlock Holmes, and for the most part, I was disappointed. There was a lot of potential for Ritchie to make a fantastic reconfiguring of a classic literary figure, but fell short due to a boring, mundane plot.

In this particular adventure, Holmes (Downey) and his faithful partner Dr. Watson (Jude Law) take on Lord Blackwood (Mark Strong), a man who is sentenced to hang for practicing black magic but somehow rises from the dead. He plans to murder key people in a plot to take over England with his dark magic. Yes, it's that ridiculous. Obviously, like an episode of Scooby Doo, his plot was foiled by those meddling detectives.

The great thing about mysteries like Sherlock Holmes, and why they're so appealing, is trying to figure out how the bad guy did it before the hero does. In Sherlock Holmes, I didn't really care how the bad guy did it. I didn't really care about the story at all. There is some witty dialogue and Downey does do a good job, so parts are entertaining. However, the fight scenes go on too long and Watson's silliness could have been a lot sillier. In short, it's boring.

Writing: 6/10
Acting: 8/10
Plot: 3/10
Visuals: 8/10

Pandorum (2009)

A lot of dudes recommended this movie to me, and I emphasize dudes because this is a very dude-ish film. The movie takes place after the Earth has been wrecked and ravaged of its resources and left uninhabitable. Two flight crew members wake up from suspended animation with no recollection of who they are, what their mission is, or how long they've been asleep. They are on Elysium, a 60,000 passenger sleeper ship on it's way to the Earth-like planet, Tanis. Bower (Ben Foster) and Payton (Dennis Quaid) plan to save the ship from certain doom while slowly discovering who they are, encountering flesh-eating humanoid creatures, and battling the onset of the psychological disorder, Pandorum.

The story is rather complex and engrossing for a fairly standard action/sci-fi movie. They mystery of exactly what is going on builds throughout the whole movie and Bower meets some interesting characters, including a hot, ass-kicking female scientist. It's entertaining. Visually, I find it a bit mundane and boring. Most of the movie takes place in darkness and much of the internal scenery of Elysium looks the same. The humanoid creatures aren't exactly creative looking, but they serve their purpose as the constant threat. What really makes the movie worth watching at all is, like so many sci-fi movies based on mystery, the ending. There is a powerful catharsis upon the final realization and that's what is going to make people recommend this movie to others. In reality, it's pretty unremarkable for its genre, but probably will appeal to a lot of dudes.

Writing: 5/10
Acting: 5/10
Plot: 7/10
Visuals: 4/10

The Blind Side (2009)

So I watched Oscars last night, like so many people, I WTFed Sandra Bullock winning Best Actress in a Leading Role, but I did that without having actually seen The Blind Side . Until today, that is. It's a nice movie. Heartwarming, interesting, but also incredibly predictable and standard for its genre. Though it is based on a true story (they all are), it has a very distinct Lifetime movie quality to it. It's the story of a neglected (and large) black teenager (Quinton Aaron) with no where to go, who finds passion and purpose in football. He is taken in by the brazen and forceful Leigh Anne Tuohy (Sandra Bullock) who helps him discover that he isn't as stupid as most adults and teachers think. He eventually becomes part of her family and goes on to do very well with that football thing. That said, Sandra Bullock's performance definitely fits the genre. Her Southern drawl is obnoxious and far from authentic sounding. Her delivery is nothing different from any other film she's made (maybe without the charming snort of Miss Congeniality). At the Oscars, Sandra seemed to realize that this performance was nothing amazing and would never have beaten out such power players as Meryl Streep and Helen Mirren. She even said during her acceptance speech, "Did I really earn this, or did I just wear you all down?"

In any case, The Blind Side is definitely a film you can pass up, but if you're looking for something heartwarming and family friendly and Blockbuster is all out of copies of Up, go ahead and watch The Blind Side. Just know what you're getting.

Writing: 7/10
Acting: 6/10
Plot: 6/10
Visuals: 6/10