Law Abiding Citizen (2009)

I'm pretty sure no one sits down to watch this movie expecting cinematic excellence. It's one of those crime drama action thriller things...with Jamie Foxx! Foxx plays a lawyer who prosecutes these dudes who killed some guy's (Gerard Butler) family. A plea bargain is reached and while one of the killers gets the death sentence, the other gets 3 years in prison. You can imagine that this wouldn't sit well with Gerard (yes, I will refer to the actor's name, not the character). Mr. Butler decides that the justice system is faulty (IS IT REALLY!?!) and takes matters into his own hands.

Yeah, so, there's this whole mystery about how Gerard is manipulating the system and killing people while he's imprisoned. The answer is not only not that shocking, but completely implausible. Law Abiding Citizen is rife with cliche dialogue and plot devices. It, like, totally tries to be Shawshank Redemption or something. But it's not. There are very few surprises here, so if you're looking for an action crime thriller thing that will keep you on the edge of your seat, move along.

There is some blood and stuff, though, if you're into that kind of thing.

Writing: 2/10
Acting: 4/10
Plot: 1/10
Visuals: 4/10

Sherlock Holmes (2009)

Robert Downey Jr is probably my favorite actor working today and I generally enjoy all of his films, if not only for his performance. I also love older Guy Ritchie films (Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, Snatch), and, though he has continually disappointed me since then, there's always that hope that he will live up to his former glory. I had high hopes for Sherlock Holmes, and for the most part, I was disappointed. There was a lot of potential for Ritchie to make a fantastic reconfiguring of a classic literary figure, but fell short due to a boring, mundane plot.

In this particular adventure, Holmes (Downey) and his faithful partner Dr. Watson (Jude Law) take on Lord Blackwood (Mark Strong), a man who is sentenced to hang for practicing black magic but somehow rises from the dead. He plans to murder key people in a plot to take over England with his dark magic. Yes, it's that ridiculous. Obviously, like an episode of Scooby Doo, his plot was foiled by those meddling detectives.

The great thing about mysteries like Sherlock Holmes, and why they're so appealing, is trying to figure out how the bad guy did it before the hero does. In Sherlock Holmes, I didn't really care how the bad guy did it. I didn't really care about the story at all. There is some witty dialogue and Downey does do a good job, so parts are entertaining. However, the fight scenes go on too long and Watson's silliness could have been a lot sillier. In short, it's boring.

Writing: 6/10
Acting: 8/10
Plot: 3/10
Visuals: 8/10

Pandorum (2009)

A lot of dudes recommended this movie to me, and I emphasize dudes because this is a very dude-ish film. The movie takes place after the Earth has been wrecked and ravaged of its resources and left uninhabitable. Two flight crew members wake up from suspended animation with no recollection of who they are, what their mission is, or how long they've been asleep. They are on Elysium, a 60,000 passenger sleeper ship on it's way to the Earth-like planet, Tanis. Bower (Ben Foster) and Payton (Dennis Quaid) plan to save the ship from certain doom while slowly discovering who they are, encountering flesh-eating humanoid creatures, and battling the onset of the psychological disorder, Pandorum.

The story is rather complex and engrossing for a fairly standard action/sci-fi movie. They mystery of exactly what is going on builds throughout the whole movie and Bower meets some interesting characters, including a hot, ass-kicking female scientist. It's entertaining. Visually, I find it a bit mundane and boring. Most of the movie takes place in darkness and much of the internal scenery of Elysium looks the same. The humanoid creatures aren't exactly creative looking, but they serve their purpose as the constant threat. What really makes the movie worth watching at all is, like so many sci-fi movies based on mystery, the ending. There is a powerful catharsis upon the final realization and that's what is going to make people recommend this movie to others. In reality, it's pretty unremarkable for its genre, but probably will appeal to a lot of dudes.

Writing: 5/10
Acting: 5/10
Plot: 7/10
Visuals: 4/10